We’re all social creatures. Everyone in the office wants to be liked and appreciated. Life is just more enjoyable when you know that you’re surrounded by people who genuinely enjoy working with you for 40 or more hours each week. What you may not realize is that you can cultivate your own likeability by making incremental improvements in many of the little things you already do.

Try these tips to make yourself a little more likeable in the office (the first two will surprise you):

1. Don’t be such a nice guy. A terrific book by Rohit Bhargava entitled Likeonomics reveals some of the secrets to being more likeable, including this counterintuitive piece of advice. Being agreeable too often can actually suppress your likeability, because your peers can’t safely assume they know how you really feel about them. For all they know, you may be smiling or nodding in agreement just to avoid confrontation. If you find that you do this by nature, ease into being a little straightforward and blunt about what you really think from time to time. People admire candor and honesty when used with discretion, because it appears authentic and trustworthy.

2. Know that people care about themselves first. You’re a terrific person, but no one in the office cares more about you than they do about themselves. They’re all tuned in 24/7 to WIFM – What’s in It for Me. Once you embrace this truth about human nature, you can put it to work for you. In conversation, try doing roughly 20 percent of the talking and 80 percent of the listening. Listen actively, without being distracted. Ask people about themselves and their families. Express a sincere desire to get to know them, and remember what they told you to build on in future conversations. Use this technique with the extroverts and influencers of the group, and the introverts as well. Be the kind of person who genuinely cares about all kinds of people, not just those who can give you social stature.

3. Be lighthearted. Likeable people smile, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company, even while being highly productive at work. You don’t have to be a laugh riot; in fact, being witty generates better banter. Your wit enables other people to be equally clever and amusing as they engage with you. When they feel like their personality shines, you win. Incidentally, you may find that when you get more comedic inputs, such as from a funny friend, comedians, or sitcoms, your lighthearted output improves. So watch an occasional episode of Big Bang Theory or comedians on YouTube to induce a little levity. If you’re not funny or witty, you can still demonstrate a lighthearted sense of humor by laughing and smiling when something or someone amuses you. Try a little eye contact too when the mood is light and you’re laughing or smiling. Don’t be creepy, but three seconds of eye contact with a person who just made you laugh or smile is a sign of social prowess.

4. Make others look good. There’s one thing people love more than talking about themselves, and that’s hearing about themselves. As you find yourself in social scenarios in the office, take mental notes of the things they say and do, and the resulting impacts of their actions. Were they persuasive, charming, or effective in a particularly impressive way? Recount that story to the group, or pay the person a compliment in front of others. Go out of your way to sincerely call positive attention to someone else, and with repetition, you will soon have your own advocates talking about your best qualities. This tip can be doubly effective if you compliment a person’s work in front of the boss at a staff meeting.

5. Put effort into your appearance. It may be an unfortunate fact of life, but people do form impressions based on appearances. Fortunately, you don’t have to look like a movie star to make a positive impression. You do, however, need to present your best possible appearance at work and project a positive image. Exercise and eat well to look healthy and fit. If fashion has never tempted you, talk to a salesperson at Nordstrom or your favorite store about the most flattering professional attire for your body type. Learn what glasses best complement your facial structure. Practice good hygiene, whiten your teeth, and project confidence. In all social situations, confidence is attractive, and looking your best is a guaranteed confidence booster.

Your likeability is largely a factor of how you perceive yourself and the state of mind that others find you in most consistently. If you focus on doing things in your life that put you in a mental state to radiate positive energy, enthusiasm, and confidence, you will naturally become more likeable.

If that doesn’t work, there’s always Stuart Smalley’s Daily Affirmations to help you.